Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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