So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
