Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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