I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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