ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night