That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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