it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize