Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
