Only a mothe r could love this liver
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
