I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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