I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Randomize
