someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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