i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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