i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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