Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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