When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care