Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.