Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I cuddled with a man named Pickles