This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.