So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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