Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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