i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This show inspires me to have sex in space
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
