spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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