She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
