Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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