Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
