We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am available for nakedness
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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