He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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