I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
