you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
