someone threw a dead crab at me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
