I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
too bad you live with your parents still
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
