So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize