Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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