that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
