$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
