are you still at the devil's house?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize