so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
