You really coming over, don't trick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she smelled like a LAN party
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?