yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?