the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i have herpe
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won