Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.