Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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