ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

  Fav 5 956 1385

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them

  Fav 30 5676 1958

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g

  Fav 77 3617 958

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

  Fav 14 4523 1066

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

  Fav 12 4184 1408

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.

  Fav 21 2674 5131

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

  Fav 22 5602 1177

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.

  Fav 8 3585 1276

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!

  Fav 9 2382 754

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (714): View more from California

  Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

  Fav 17 4850 1154

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.

  Fav 6 1835 783

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.

  Fav 3 897 527

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.

  Fav 3 374 534

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night

  Fav 2 582 412

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him

  Fav 3 537 347

  share tweet
  

Randomize