if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
