and you said cock pushups were impossible
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
