And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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