You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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