no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
