I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
