Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
