Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
