I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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