i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
