i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
