I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
