i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
