i permit you to call me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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