If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
