rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
