Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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